o.r. & waiting rooms

thursday, 2:45pm

i walked my mom to the o.r.

i knew she was worried, she was silent all the while. i tried my best to look nonchalant, even when i am feeling the opposite inside.

as we reached the door to the o.r. suite i looked at her with a smile--an assurance that everything will be ok.

as the door slowly closes. i felt powerless.

i had been inside the o.r. many times. assisting doctors, scrubbing in surgeries. outside, i've seen many worried faces---families, loved ones waiting outside the door; clueless of what is happening inside.

most times i'd just walk past them, give smirks or wouldn't even look their way.

now i am clueless of what is happening inside. i'm itching to get on my scrubs and walk past that door.